Realizations

I think that I had an epiphany.... or maybe its just the really loud music that's blasting away at my mind but I realized something this evening. I can do whatever I want... and I know that sounds dumb to you, that I would just now realize something like that, cause it's drilled into us from a very early age from very loving, concerned parents but this is different... yeah I've heard it before but I never really was able to see it.... to realize that I have dreams and hopes and desires that eat at me all the time, and now they don't have to be just another passing thought. They can be reality and not imagination. They can be what I'm living instead of what I want to live. It's like looking at life through a straw and finally taking a look outside of what I've been seeing. Its freeing and liberating, like with just the thought I could be anywhere.... doing anything.... playing my music or living in London, or just watching the stars and feeling the raindrops fall down on me while I belt out a love song to the world.

I feel hopeful for the first time in a long time. My heart is beating faster.... like its gonna pound its way out at any moment. My blood is racing and my mind is clear. I still don't know who I am but why sit around and wait for someone to tell me! Why not go and find out! Why not take some risks! Why not make something of life? I'm done with waiting.... I'm gonna go on an adventure.... one of my choosing and when I get to the end of it.... there's always another waiting for me.... waiting for me to jump in heart first.

It might take awhile but I'm doing it and that's something you can take to the bank. haha